The other day my husband and I were discussing the issues of gender equality and the social ramifications of the war of the sexes. OK, not really but he was listening to me complain about how I hate being treated like an idiot because I have boobs.
Case in point: one evening while at soccer practice my son ran the battery down on our car while listening to his iPod and being a moody teenager. That, my friends, is a whole other post and I'm sure I'll get there later. Anyway...the car was dead. And I was not pleased.
After returning to the group of dads that I had been chatting with prior to finding out my car was flatlined, I finally got one of them to pull their vehicle over to my car. I had already fished the jumper cables out of the car top carrier and all I needed was a willing battery that I could take advantage of in a completely shallow and meaningless way. But it was not going to be that simple. He needed to read the manual to make sure we didn't blow the battery up so he stopped about 7 feet away from the front of my car. There I stood with my 5 foot long jumper cables...so close and yet so far.
Mind you, this whole time I'm simmering with annoyance at my son since I had specifically said "Don't run my battery down listening to your music". I kid you not...I said those exact words and yet here I was, standing in front of the car wishing I had longer cables. And, I had 2 tired, stinky, hungry girls in the car and no supper waiting for us after our 20 minute drive out of town. I just needed to get home.
While I was waiting for guy #1 to read his manual and trying to contain my growing frustration (he is a very nice man, after all), another dad saw the open hood of my vehicle and decided to stop to lend a hand. A nice gesture except that I already had it under control, not to mention the other guy that was lending me his battery. And this particular person completely ignored me when I said as much. Guy #2 began a conversation with Guy #1 about what needed to be done. Helllloooo....standing here with the jumper cables in my hands and the hood up. I just need to use a f-----g battery and I can be on my way!
Guy #1 finally moved his car forward and I handed him the cables to hook to his battery. I hooked the first clamp to the lower part of the metal nub on my battery and heard the concern of Guy #2, who was hovering over my shoulder, that it probably wasn't the correct spot. He thought I should hook it to the top of the nub. Never mind the fact that I have done this several times and know from experience that the claws slip off of the sloped upper part of the nub. But, hey, I don't have a penis so how can I know such things? To show him my reasoning, I attached the claw to the top of the nub and, sure 'nuf, off it slipped with a snap. "Oh", was all I got in return.
Finally I was able to attached the cables and start the car. But not without a reminder to turn off the extra things like the radio and the lights. Gee, thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you. Except maybe be home by now!
The biggest frustration of the whole thing was the fact that I didn't need them to do this for me. I didn't need them in the way. I just needed a battery and a set of jumper cables...that's it. No side of condescension, no discussion, no manuals, no 'here let me do that for you'. Just let me use your battery and we can go home. And yet it took almost 20 minutes to get my car running because they couldn't just let me do what needed to be done.
And that is what really annoys me about being 'treated like a girl' sometimes. Just let me do what I know needs to be done and if I need help, I'll ask for it. Pretty freakin' simple. Don't assume that I can't do something without giving me proper time to prove it myself. Believe me, if I can't do it, I'll either ask for help or make a fool out of myself....then feel free to jump in. Until then, get out of my way and let me use your battery.
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